the F word(s)

Looking back at 2009, I realized there were a lot of F-words that could describe the year. (No, not that F-word! It’s a G-rated column, folks.)

Before I begin the official list, I must add “frustration” to describe my attempts at a weekly blog. Maybe I’ll try monthly postings in 2010.

Frugality: It was a year of cutting back – a common story for many in this recession. I was lucky to have work for much of the time, but things were definitely tougher than they have been. I dropped some cable channels (and for a TV geek like me, that was tough!), got rid of caller ID, and considered and then re-considered almost every purchase. I’ve always thought I was a fairly cost-conscious person, but it was surprising how often I was tempted to make impulse buys or to buy things simply because they were on sale, even if I already had a shelf full. Coupons and sale ads became my new shopping companions.

Fat: My life has been a constant battle with my weight, a familiar story for many women. Over the past few years I’ve settled into a comfortable range wherein I have some treats but try to eat sensibly and get in some regular, if not strenuous, workouts. But my doctor discovered a cholesterol issue, so I have been on a low-fat, low-sugar diet for the last few months of the year. Yes, that’s right, dieting at Thanksgiving and Christmas. (Although I did consider those as “free days” so I could enjoy all the treats.) Mainly it entails reading more labels and giving more thought to dinner than which box is on top of the stack in the freezer. I have another test in January, so we’ll see if the effort has paid off.

Fear: There’s a lot of fear in my life, too often generated from within. Obviously in this recession period, there was a lot of fear about work and finances. On the positive side, it drove me to update my resume and put myself out there last summer, which led me to a great new project and new contacts. But even though I have work now, there’s that underlying, nagging worry that wasn’t there before this year: What happens when this job is finished? A few days without work is a pleasant break; a week becomes a little boring; and anything above that is frightening.

Fatigue: I complained about not having work earlier, and now I’m going to complain about too much work. (Some people are just never happy.) I went from no work to working 14-hour days and weekends for about three months. You get to a point where you’re scared to turn down anything that comes along, but you do need at least a few hours of sleep! The only thing that got me through was knowing it was a temporary situation and that there would eventually be a break. Fortunately the break came at Christmas so I was able to enjoy the holiday and even catch up on some rest. It certainly gave me more empathy for people like my niece, who’s doing a medical residency and works longer hours with a lot more stress. After all, if I miss a typo, no one is probably going to die.

Family: This has always been an important F-word to me and has become even more so as my parents get older. I can’t imagine not being able to get home – at least on the major holidays – to see them, as well as my brother and sister-in-law, and others who have become my extended family. And I can’t picture a scenario in which we would not be speaking to one another, as happens in some families. They are my safety net, my “soft place to fall,” and I don’t know what I would do without that support. Then there’s Sarah, my niece, and her husband, Anthony: I can’t wait to see what’s next in their lives! And that leads me to the final F-word:

Future: I’ve never been a big fan of change, although I’ve gotten better at accepting the inevitable changes life brings, if not embracing them. And here we are at the Big Change that comes around every 365 days. I don’t make resolutions anymore, at least not formally, but I think everyone has that secret or not-so-secret list of improvements they’d like to make with the incentive of that shiny new year just ahead. Whatever words describe your hopes and dreams, I hope you see them fulfilled in 2010. Happy New Year!